Purpose and Foreigner Alcoholic Syndrome

I just got back from the Philippines, and it had to be one of my best trips. I was with a girl I met via the Internet, in her early 20's and slim. We went out to Malapascua Island, with the most beautiful white sand beaches. We spent most of our nights having sex.

(By the way, a tip I picked up from a mentor of mine is to have sex without orgasming. If you orgasm, you get tired, and pretty soon you can't perform. On the other hand, if you don't orgasm, you can go all night. Rather than become more tired, you become more energized, and your sex drive grows even stronger.

It may seem like not orgasming is a let down, but if you stop before orgasm, you will have the same sort of feelings as if you orgasmed –elevated heartbeat, flushing of the skin, a feeling of relaxation, etc. Only you won't be totally exhausted. And you still have orgasms, only once a day, or every other day.)

We rented a boat for the day to Carnassa Island, which is an hour north of Malapascua. The island is remote, sparsely populated, with white sand beaches and clear, sapphire water. I learned to snorkel, and was amazed to see the colorful little fish and to hear the crackling of anchovies in the water. We explored a cave that was said to be a secret meeting place of very powerful Filipinos. I drank cold beer as we ate barbecue on the beach.

As we came back, we passed through the village that is the main population center of the island. Our guide steered us away from one small house that had some sort of commotion going on, with an assortment of gawkers loitering at the gate.

He explained that the guy who lived there was a foreigner who had just finished drinking himself to death that afternoon.

As I thought about it, I couldn't believe the insanity of the world. I had just had one of the best days of my life, and I would kill to live on Malapascua like that guy, but he couldn't find anything worth living for.

When I first saw the syndrome I was incredulous. You have guys living in the Philippines, sleeping with beautiful women, and yet they are full blown alcoholics.

Last summer I met an American guy who is an out-of-control alcoholic. This year he was even worse. He would be at the bar at nine o'clock in the morning drinking his first beer. (In fact, he had switched from beer to malt liquor because beer wasn't strong enough.) At eight o'clock in the evening he would still be there, having drunk all day. He might drift off to sleep for an hour or two, then resume drinking throughout most of the night. He might get two or three hours of sleep a night.

The raging alcoholic foreigner syndrome didn't seem possible. You had guys who didn't have to work, who had plenty of leisure, who were freed from the slavery of marriage, who were sexually wealthy, and yet had nothing better to do than get bombed.

And so I stumbled on the missing element in their lives –purpose. There has to be something that animates you, that gives you a reason to get up in the morning. I believe that as a man that reason needs to be larger than earning a living or raising a family. What is your life's purpose?

Rick Warren in The Purpose-Filled Life stumbles onto a great truth, that you need a purpose in life. But then he cops out. What is your purpose? To give your life to God, who has a purpose for you.

Well, like Rick, I can't tell you what your purpose is, but I do know that your purpose is unique to you. It is about you and your life. God doesn't need your purpose, and he doesn't want your life. You have to think about what makes you happy, about those things that drive you, even when money isn't involved. If there is something you'd like to have written on your tombstone, that thing that you would like to be remembered for may be your purpose.

As I've thought about it, I know that one of my missions in life is to empower men.