The No Asshole Rule

I just read Robert Sutton’s “The No Asshole Rule,” which is a thought-provoking book even if the title is a little brusque.

Sutton’s main contention is that even though we may politely label them as “bullies” or “jerks,” the bottom line (pardon the pun) is that the term “asshole” strikes us all as true emotionally, whether it’s politically correct or not. In the workplace assholes have very real consequences, causing a loss in productivity, an increase in absenteeism and employee theft, and causing an emotional impact that is five times stronger than a positive interaction with a normal, well-adjusted co-worker.

The book raises the question, “Why put up with assholes?” The answer is that we shouldn’t. If we think about it, the worst part of any job, and the most stressful, is dealing with assholes.

I worked at Pioneer Chicken years ago, and loved it. I wore yellow and brown polyester as part of the uniform and got paid about minimum wage to fry chicken over oil heated to 335 degrees. I came home from work covered in grease and flour but I loved the job. Why? Because the bosses treated me and all of the employees very well. On the other hand we had people come to Pioneer Chicken from the local MacDonald’s franchise, and they felt like Kunta Kinta leaving Mississippi. The difference was that assholes ran MacDonald’s.

The worst part of being a teacher is the students who are assholes. These are typically just a handful, but this slim fraction of malignant semi-human growth make life miserable. And I’m certain the same is true for any job.

It’s somehow assumed that dealing with assholes is just a part of life. “The customer is always right” is a retarded idea that should be scrapped.

I say, “The customer is always right, unless he’s an asshole, at which point he can $#@! himself.”

But the pencil pushers and three martini lunch swillers in management are removed from dealing with assholes, except for the occasional admiring glance at themselves in the mirror. They wouldn’t be able to feel your pain even if they weren’t sloshed at noon. They don’t have to deal with the abusive, belligerent, nasty customer grinding you beneath his heel, so it’s easy to calculate the profit made by you enduring the most putrid and abrasive assholes. So you’re enduring the equivalent of a sadistic Viet Cong dentist while he’s in the office practicing his putting. The secretary would rather service him at his desk than deal with the Neanderthal offal stalking the reception area. Hey, management and “leadership” is tough work.

How much stress could you be free of if you practiced the “No Asshole” rule? For a moment consider the implications of a life without assholes, in your personal and your professional lives. Rampant assholes are not a given in life; it’s that we accept them as a given. Resolve to free yourself.