The Lost Boys

In the recent uproar over the women and children taken from the fundamentalist Mormon church in Texas, it has come to light that the men of the church have a strategy to get multiple wives.

You see, if one man has multiple wives, then several other men must do without. How does a community solve this problem? In the days of Odysseus, a band of warriors set out in a boat, hit the shore and sacked the nearest village. They killed the men, raped the women, and took captives as slaves and wives. But in a closed community like the fundamentalist Mormon church, getting women from outside the community is not a possibility.

So the leaders of the church kick out the young men, often by manufacturing petty offenses. These young men are chief competitors for young women, so they have to get removed from the picture. These young men are simply kicked out onto the street.

You should be aware that this is essentially the same strategy of the Mormon church. Why are young men sent out on a mission lasting a year or more, paid for with their own money, right at a time when they might think of marrying? The clear purpose, dating back to when the chief fraud Joseph Smith was around, was to eliminate competition in the form of young men.

Don’t laugh. I don’t care what church you go to, they don’t want you to get laid, either. Marriage is essentially a non-sex plan. Married sex is like the two week “All You Can Eat, Nothing But Watermelon Diet”; It doesn’t take too long to get sick of watermelon, especially when it’s gained 25 pounds of cellulite, wrinkles, and stretch marks.