Seduction Tip: Profile of a Master Seducer

When I began to try to discover what a man needed to do to become successful with women, I was at a total loss. I had always struggled with women, and while I’d had girlfriends and dates, they were just a matter of blind luck, some sort of a freakish random incident that couldn’t be explained. Sure, I had friends who had girlfriends and dates, and their own measure of success, but they all got married just as everyone is supposed to do. As I read about seduction one friend of mine stood out as one of only three men I had known who were truly good with women. And the more I thought about Marc and his unstoppable success with women, the crazier it seemed.

Marc was an easy-going, likeable guy, with a laugh and a sense of humor. He wasn’t very tall, but was solidly built. And Marc had a “F@$#-it-all” attitude. I soon learned that I couldn’t depend on him for anything. He was constantly late to work, and would blow off appointments. Marc did whatever he felt like doing whenever he felt like doing it. His stint in the Navy ended when they discovered he had been in rehab –in fact, he had been in drug rehab three times. One engagement fell through when he lied about where he was, went out that night and hit a horse in the road, while driving her car! He got one girl pregnant and then got cold feet before the wedding. He burnt out the engine of his car because he was too lazy to put some oil into the engine, and he drove it until the cylinders seized up on him.

Yet his prowess with women was amazing, and these sexual misadventures are merely the tip of the proverbial iceberg that I am aware of and can recall all these years later:

• He seduced a virgin, and then dumped her when she became pregnant.

• He called a co-worker out of the blue, (They had never dated before.) and got her to come over to his apartment for a steamy sex session.

• There was this girl Terri that I was all dreamy-eyed over, and went down hard when I asked her out. He was giving her a ride home one night when he proposed a bout of anonymous sex and nailed her.

• Another gorgeous girl the guys drooled over at work wound up sleeping with him.

• Marc was out late at a 7-11 when he saw a girl and asked her to come over to his apartment. Wild sex ensued.

• A woman about to get married has her last fling with him, because her husband-to-be is thin and wants to know what’s it’s like to be with a brawny guy like Marc.

• He seduced another virgin.

These women are in addition to the constant girlfriends, dates, and quick encounters that Marc had.

Why was Marc a sexual Mark McGwire, consistently hitting sexual opportunities out of the park? Especially seeing that I was his peer and friend, and struggled with women, constantly getting shot down and being alone for long stretches of time. Why was he a sexual dreadnaught when I was the typical frustrated chump?

My first guess was he was good-looking, and you might have guessed the same. Yet Marc’s brother John was easily as good-looking if not more so. John used to model clothes for one of the big clothing stores in the city. Yet John never got anywhere near the quantity or quality of women that his brother did. In fact, although John had Marc’s same charming smile and sense of humor, he was also dependable, honest, not addicted, and a math major working on an anti-ballistic missile defense.

I have chewed over the question of Marc’s seemingly inexplicable success, and have considered it from every possible angle. These are the factors that I believe explain Marc’s prowess with women, and I believe that any man who adopts them will see his seduction skills improve.

Seduction is counterintuitive. I would not have believed that Marc scored so many women if I had not seen the evidence with my own eyes. I would have expected his more mature, responsible, and better-looking brother to do much better than him. The essential building blocks of seduction are so counterintuitive, so contrary to what rational analysis would lead you to, that the typical guy will never figure out seduction on his own. I believe that some men stumble across sexual success. Other guys will implement the handful seduction strategies that are part of the popular consciousness: work hard, buy her flowers, get a good job, be honest, be yourself, treat her like a lady, etc., and these strategies are doomed to fail.

The strategies that lead to success with women are so crazy, so irrational, that a guy who strikes out with women will simply redouble his efforts with those same failed techniques. In warfare the only way to survive an ambush is to charge into the teeth of the enemy’s fusillade. The successful technique of charging directly into hostile fire is contrary to a man’s instinct, and so he must be trained in order to survive. The secrets to seducing women seem like total insanity, such that a man on his own will never figure them out in a million years.

The master seducer’s “liabilities” are actually his assets. Looked at rationally, there seemed to be dozens of factors holding Marc back from success with women, but you should realize that these handicaps were actually the means of his success. His lack of commitment seemed spontaneous. His dangerousness was exciting. His don’t give a damn attitude was carefree and relaxed. His inability to plan for the future meant that he was totally here in the now. The fact that he had screwed dozens of women meant that he had a cocksure brazenness to his approach.

Brawny beats skinny. One advantage Marc had over his brother and me is that he had a solid, muscular build. I was very thin at that age. How many times have you seen an extremely skinny man with a morbidly obese woman? We tend to think of this as a mismatch, but a thin man and a fat woman are the easiest and most natural pairing. A fat woman is the least attractive woman, just as the skinny man is the least attractive man. In the Jack Sprat and wife coupling we have two unattractive people getting the best partner they’re capable of. Moral of the story: Hit the weights and bulk up.

Hold out the possibility of getting married, but don’t be a dumbass and actually get married. An unmarried man has everything he wants, in addition to protecting his finances and future earnings. Women want to get their hands on your cash and are yearning for the stability and social status that come with marriage, so they will press for a wedding. You can either be totally up front and ruin a good thing, or play it out as long as possible.

Stop giving a flying F’%$@. Too many men are obsessed over outcomes.

I don’t want to ask her out because she might say no.

I don’t want to risk our friendship.

I just hope that Suzy agrees to go out with me –I’m so crazy about her I just don’t know what I’ll do if she says no.

Suzy said no! I’m so devastated; I’ve never felt so low. I guess I’m just a loser in love.

But if some girl turned Marc down his attitude was, “Stupid cunt. Well, on to the next one.” If she was married, or engaged, or a co-worker, or any other imaginable supposedly insuperable obstacle, Marc’s attitude was, “Fuck it. I’m going for it.” While I moped and agonized over my latest rejection, Marc said “fuck it” and moved on.

Marc’s devil-may-care attitude sucked women into his own reality, offering them a tempting world wherein they, like he, could shed all of their duties and obligations. Marc was fun, because nothing else mattered, and women could shed their inhibitions with him. Women want fun and adventure, which Marc offered in abundance, not a mature, sensible hand-to–the-plow relationship.

Marc seduced another virgin and eventually married her. They fought daily, yelling at each other loudly enough to be heard by their in-laws next door. One night Marc was drunk, got into the car and raced along the freeway at high speed until he went off the highway, flipped the car into a canal and was killed. Those of us who knew him think it was nothing other than a thinly disguised suicide. Marc had been engaged twice before, but his instinct for freedom and self-preservation had always asserted itself and spared him at the last moment. Once he crossed the line and got married, there was nothing left to live for.